


Ned Versus the Devil

by nauticalneptune



Category: The Simpsons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 09:36:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1300198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nauticalneptune/pseuds/nauticalneptune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU I wrote with Devil Ned and Devil Maude ruling the underworld together. Keep in mind, they are devils now and not your Christianly neighbors :P Also, fair warning, some of it is NSFW. (That's why I rated it M, just in case)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ned Versus the Devil

“Ned, I want you to divorce that woman,” Maude said with crossed arms as she sat upon their bed.  
“Maude, I can’t just do that. Up there, I am still Ned Flanders. I cannot just divorce the woman I married. What would people think? It’s fine.”  
“No, it’s not fine, Ned! I don’t appreciate it. I’m your wife—not her!”  
“You’re the devil’s wife, sugarplum—not Ned Flanders’ wife.”  
“Well, sometimes I miss Ned Flanders. . .”  
“Oh, please! You know it’s much better being married to the devil!”  
“I guess.”  
“You have to admit, the sex is better,” Ned chuckled, nipping at his wife’s neck.  
Maude felt chills down her spine. She smiled a little, having to agree. “It is certainly exciting and more frequent, but . . .”  
“But, what?” Ned was starting to get a little irritated.  
“I’m jealous of Edna!” Maude spat out.  
“That’s ridiculous.”  
“No, it’s not, Ned! You have two wives! It isn’t fair!”  
“Well, honey, you’re dead; there’s not much you can do about it.”  
Maude pursed her lips, flipping her husband off before storming away.  
“You’re going to regret that!” Ned called after her, sending fireballs after her.  
Maude turned around with raised eyes. “What use is your fire here? We’re surrounded by flames. Hell is the hottest place you can possibly be. What are your flames against me?” She raised both of her middle fingers in the air as she walked away.  
Ned clenched his fists irritably before leaving for the surface. 

Reappearing in the master bedroom of the Flanders home, he was relieved to see Edna asleep still. Perfect, he thought to himself as he slipped into bed beside her, touching his nose to the back of her neck. It was just about morning now.  
Edna awakened, turning over and smiling at her husband. “Good morning, Ned.”  
“Happy birthday, darlin’.” Ned kissed the woman’s nose.  
She groaned. “Oh, don’t remind me. . .”  
“What do you want to do today? I want you to decide. Whatever you want, we will do.”  
“Well,” the woman sat up, “in all honesty, I want you to allow me to go outside and have a cigarette so I can calm down and relieve the stress of turning forty four. And then I want to come crawl right back into bed with you and sleep away the rest of this horrible day.”  
Ned chuckled a little. “Well, if that’s what you want to do, it’s easy enough! But there’s no need to be so down about your birthday. However, while you go outside and smoke your sin stick, I will go take the boys to their grandparents’ house! Just in case we want to get a little. . . you know,” the man winked a little.  
“Ned!” Edna exclaimed, surprised, unable to suppress her grin.  
They had breakfast as a family before Ned got the boys into the car to go to their grandparents’ house. Edna waved to them from the front step in her robe and then went into the backyard and lit up a cigarette, leaning against the house.  
“Hey, Mrs. K! Happy birthday!”  
Edna looked up, seeing Bart from across the fence. “Gee, Bart, thanks. I came out here to forget my birthday.”  
“Aw, but your birthday is the most special day of the year! Everyone gives you presents!”  
“Eh,” the woman shrugged. “All I know is I get a year older.”  
“You adults are no fun. Don’t you remember what it’s like to be a kid? Getting presents is the best!”  
“I didn’t really get many presents as a child. You know what was a present for me? If we had enough money to pay for heat in the winter.”  
Bart’s eyes widened a little. He never knew that about his teacher, and suddenly, he felt bad. “I’m sorry.” He ran over into the Flanders’ yard and pulled on the woman’s robe. When she leaned down, confused, he kissed her cheek quickly. “You know, just in case Ol’ Flanders won’t give you any kisses and whatnot today.”  
“Oh, he’ll be giving me more than kisses,” the woman chuckled a little, standing back up straight and leaning back against the wall.  
“Okay, that was too much information,” Bart grimaced, shaking his head.

“Alright, the boys are gone, and it’s just the two of us, Edna!”  
“Good. Come back to bed, Neddy. . .”  
“I’m coming. Close your eyes first.”  
“Close my eyes? Why?”  
“Just do it, please?”  
Edna nodded, closing her eyes, curiously. She heard zipping, assuming the man was getting back into his pajamas, but once his bare body pressed up against hers in bed moments later, her eyes flew open as a moan escaped her lips. “Ned!”  
“That’s right. I’m down to nothing.”  
“You’re not teasing me, are you?”  
“Edna! Do you really think I would get naked and press myself against you if I wasn’t planning on loving you? Gosh diddily—I’m Ned Flanders!”  
Edna could not help roll her eyes just a little but smiled to him.  
“I want this day to be all about you. I want to make you feel as beautiful and wonderful as you are.”  
“Oh, Ned. . . “ the woman touched his cheek, kissing his nose, her eyes widening slightly as she felt her panties being slipped down. The man was being so different, so direct with this, and she loved it so much. 

Once Ned finally arrived to the underworld once more, Maude was waiting with crossed arms. “You were sure gone an awful long time.”  
“It was Edna’s birthday! Get your panties out of a bunch.”  
“What if it had been my birthday?”  
“Well, I’d have spent it with you. I love you, you know that, Maude!”  
“Then show me. Make love to me right now. Fuck me hard like you mean it.”  
“I would, but you worked my nerve earlier. You gave me the finger; I don’t think you deserve any,” Ned shrugged.  
Maude put her hands on her hips and huffed. “You’re probably too tired from fucking your ‘other wife’, aren’t you?”  
Ned sighed a bit harshly before sitting upon his throne. “Look, I’ll tell you what. I will let you pleasure me while I sit here. If you do a good enough job, maybe I’ll return the favor.”  
Maude did not appreciate this situation, but she figured it was her only option at the moment so she sat upon her knees in front of the devil’s throne. Her hands ran along his thighs before starting to sensually lick at his most sensitive part. She closed her eyes, moaning a little to herself; there was no doubt she enjoyed pleasing him like this. This is one thing she had never experienced above ground. There would have been no way that Ned Flanders would have allowed this sort of engagement. She made use of her long, serpent-like tongue, running it all along the shaft, wrapping around it.  
She then took him inside her mouth, little by little, passionately sucking. Hearing moans come from his mouth, as well, made her smile through her work, knowing he was being satisfied. Once she knew her job was done, she pulled herself into Ned’s lap, kissing his lips. Once they pulled away, she said quietly with a hint of sarcasm, “Well? Did I do well enough, your majesty?”  
“Hmm. . . I don’t know if I like your tone.”  
“Ned, please.” The woman was squirming a little as she sat, having strong feelings. “Maybe this will change your mind,” she added, pulling down the straps of her nightgown a little, letting one of her nipples show.  
Ned’s eyes looked down to the sight, and he bit his lip before pinching the woman’s nipple. “Well, I suppose you deserve a little something. . .” His other hand slipped up under her dress, finding she was bare underneath. “Expecting someone?” he smirked, starting to massage the place between her legs teasingly.  
“Please,” she said weakly, rocking her body a little against his fingers, wanting the stimulation so badly.  
“Beg,” the devil said simply, removing his fingers and instead putting them in his mouth, sucking on them.  
“Ned, I _am_ begging! _Please_!”  
“Hmm. . .” He slipped his fingers back to her sensitive place and started rubbing again. “More—beg more.”  
Maude, frustrated, cried out, “Ned, please!” By this time, tears were streaming down her face, and she was quivering with need.  
“Alright, you’ve convinced me,” Ned grinned, carrying the woman over to their bed, dropping her onto it before climbing atop her.  
“Ned, please,” Maude whispered.  
“Please what?”  
“Get your god damn dick inside me!” She was losing all patience. She needed him now.  
“Why didn’t you just say so?” he chuckled, plunging right inside of her and not holding back one bit as he thrusted in and out of her, starting her out for a wild night of screams from the beginning.  
Sometimes Maude did miss Ned Flanders, but the devil made her swoon in the day and scream by night more than that man ever had. There was something different about him, but she knew there was something different about her, too. They had both changed, but there was really no turning back now. She knew for a fact that she got the better deal of sex, and one day, Edna and Ned would both die, but Maude and the devil would live on. It was worth it in the end.

A/N: I had written this a good while back. Rest in peace, sweet Mrs. Krabappel.


End file.
